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Shadows. They be Haunting.

     So I've decided to destroy absolutely everything that I had going for me in life, and once more slam down on the good old reset button. I've decided to suddenly grow up, and leave the childish, unfortunately unnecessary, and unfortunately elusive comfort of my film school, because of the sudden realization I had about it's only task. All it ever did, was give me the illusion of protection, it presented me with a thin veil which guarded my daily habits, the routines and notions formed in the simple and glorious days of my childhood. It kept on trying to drilling into my mind the notion that I will always succeed, and more importantly that I NEEDED it more than anything to do so, to get a job, and to seamlessly transition into yet another set of habits, but in my head, that kind of thinking is far from right.

     Me and the good old reset button go a long way back. I first encountered it in seventh grade, when I had to lose my friends, my family, and my culture, to fly out here, to the US of A, and boy, did it jolt me awake. In fact, it forced to to be more awake than I've ever been before and to realize the incredibly boring and the incredibly mundane pattern I have comfortably established for myself in Ukraine. Unfortunately, as with all good things, the state of hyperawareness wore off and did so long ago. My mind slowly relaxed, as new routines were formed, and the eyes with which I used to look at the world went blind. I no longer needed them. I was comfortable. What stirred me awake once again, was the sudden hopelessness that I started experiencing, as I slowly realized the lies fed to me by the education system, and franticly, with my eyelids shut, I started feeling around for that very familiar escape route. That same old reset button that I accidentally stumbled upon in the past. I needed it now more than ever.

     So how are things going to change? Well, to get a different perspective on life I decided to quit the Art Institute. I am planning on going to a WAAA-H-AAAY cheaper college and strive towards a business degree. Meanwhile, I am going to find a local film studio at which I can intern, or get an entry position, and get hands on experience that the Institute was trying to stuff into my head in all the wrong ways. This will allow me to make some money, pay off the loans, build up a resume, and move on with my life without a worry in the world. By then I'll be able to sell my talents in an intelligent way, perhaps start my own video production business, marketing it in all the right ways, and that will leave me so much better off than I would have ever been if I chose to keep my eyes shut, and my hands tied by The Man.

     It will be a lot of work if I want to succeed, no doubt about that, Ill have many a sleepless nights doing all I can to strive for my goals, but in the end it will be absolutely worth it, both for the monetary reasons, and for the freedom it will bring. No longer will I be a sheep blindly herded towards a cliff and thrown off into the deadly pit of student debt, and no longer will I have to rely on a for profit institution to guide my choices. The entire world is in front of me. Every single path. Always has been and always will be. Why've I never noticed it before?

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